Self-Regulation Practices
Self-Regulation Practices
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Breathing/Reset Techniques
Breathing Exercises for Regulation During Legal Proceedings
Our breath is one of the most powerful tools we have for regulating our nervous system. During legal proceedings, you may experience shifts between feeling overwhelmed and activated (hyperarousal) or shut down and disconnected (hypoarousal). Different breathing techniques can help address these different states.
This resource provides specific breathing exercises tailored to your current state. With regular practise, these techniques become more accessible when you need them most during challenging legal situations.
For All States: Foundation Breathing Exercise
Measured Breathing Exercise (4-2-6 Breath)
This breathing pattern helps activate your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) and can quickly reduce feelings of anxiety.
How to practise:
1) Find a comfortable seated position and place one hand on your chest and one on your abdomen if that feels comfortable.
2) Breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of 4, allowing your abdomen to expand like a balloon (rather than lifting your shoulders). Count silently: "One, two, three, four"
3) Hold your breath gently for a count of 2. Count silently: "One, two"
4) Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 6, allowing your abdomen to fall. Count silently: "One, two, three, four, five, six"
5) Repeat this pattern for 5-10 cycles, or until you notice your body beginning to relax.
Remember that the extended exhale is the most essential part of this exercise, as it signals to your body that you are safe.
If counting feels distracting, you could use words instead, such as inhaling to "I am" and exhaling to "at peace" or any phrase that resonates with you.
For Hyperarousal: Calming Breathing Exercises
When you're feeling anxious, agitated, overwhelmed, or caught in fight/flight responses, these exercises can help calm your system.
1. Extended Exhale Breathing
This technique emphasises the exhale portion of your breath, which activates the parasympathetic nervous system more strongly.
How to practise:
Sit comfortably with your spine relatively straight.
Breathe in normally through your nose for a count of 4.
Exhale through your mouth for a count of 8, making your exhale twice as long as your inhale.
As you exhale, imagine releasing tension with each breath.
Continue this pattern for 3-5 minutes, or until you notice a shift in your state.
If an 8-count exhale feels too long, adjust to what feels manageable—the key is making the exhale longer than the inhale.
2. Square Breathing (Box Breathing)
This balanced breathing technique is helpful when you need to stay present during challenging legal discussions or before court appearances.
How to practise:
Visualise tracing the four sides of a square as you breathe.
Inhale through your nose for a count of 4 (first side of the square).
Hold your breath for a count of 4 (second side of the square).
Exhale through your mouth for a count of 4 (third side of the square).
Hold the exhale for a count of 4 (fourth side of the square).
Repeat this pattern for 5-10 cycles.
This technique can be practised discreetly during meetings by visualising the square rather than counting out loud.
3. Cooling Breath (Sitali Breath)
This technique has an immediate cooling and calming effect, especially useful when you feel "heated" emotions like anger or anxiety.
How to practise:
If comfortable, curl the sides of your tongue into a tube shape. (If this isn't possible, slightly part your lips instead.)
Inhale slowly through your mouth (through the tongue tube if possible), as if sipping through a straw.
Close your mouth and exhale slowly through your nose.
Repeat 5-10 times, especially when feeling overwhelmed by anger or frustration.
This technique can be particularly helpful before responding to difficult communications or entering challenging negotiations.
4. Alternate Nostril Breathing
This balancing breathing technique helps calm an agitated mind and is especially useful before making important decisions.
How to practise:
Sit comfortably with your spine straight.
Using your right hand, fold your index and middle fingers toward your palm.
Close your right nostril with your right thumb and inhale slowly through your left nostril.
At the peak of your inhalation, close your left nostril with your ring finger, release your thumb, and exhale through your right nostril.
Inhale through your right nostril.
At the peak of your inhalation, close your right nostril with your thumb, release your ring finger, and exhale through your left nostril.
This completes one cycle. Repeat for 5-10 cycles.
If this feels too complicated, simply alternate breathing through each nostril without the finger positions.
For Hypoarousal: Energising Breathing Exercises
When you're feeling disconnected, numb, foggy, exhausted, or caught in freeze/collapse responses, these exercises can help re-energise your system.
1. Bellows Breath (Bhastrika)
This invigorating breathing technique helps increase energy and alertness when feeling disconnected or foggy.
How to practise:
Sit comfortably with a straight spine.
Place your hands on your abdomen.
Take rapid, forceful breaths through your nose, emphasising both the inhale and exhale equally.
Allow your abdomen to expand on the inhale and contract on the exhale.
Continue for 10-15 seconds, then return to normal breathing.
Notice the sensations in your body.
Repeat for 2-3 rounds if needed.
This technique is best practised before meetings rather than during them, as it may be noticeable to others.
2. Stimulating Breath (Kapalabhati)
This technique helps clear mental fog and increase alertness.
How to practise:
Sit comfortably with your spine straight.
Take a deep breath in through your nose
Exhale forcefully through your nose by contracting your lower belly.
Allow your inhalation to happen passively as your belly relaxes.
Continue this pattern of passive inhale, forceful exhale for 10-15 breaths.
Return to normal breathing and notice the effects.
Start slowly and build up speed gradually with practise. Stop if you feel lightheaded.
3. Breath of Joy
This moving breath exercise helps reconnect with your body when feeling disconnected or shut down.
How to practise:
1) Stand with your feet hip-width apart and knees slightly bent.
2) Inhale through your nose in three parts:
First part: Sweep your arms up in front of you to shoulder height
Second part: Extend your arms out to the sides
Third part: Sweep your arms up overhead
4) Exhale forcefully through your mouth with a "Ha" sound as you fold forward, bringing your arms down.
5) Return to standing and repeat 5-10 times.
This exercise combines movement with breath, which can be particularly helpful for reconnecting with your body when feeling disconnected during legal proceedings.
4. Three-Part Breath (Dirga Pranayama)
This technique helps increase awareness of your physical body when feeling disconnected.
How to practise:
Sit or lie down comfortably.
Place one hand on your abdomen and one on your chest.
Inhale deeply through your nose, first filling your lower belly (feel your hand rise).
Continue the same inhalation, filling your mid-section (feel your ribs expand).
Complete the inhalation by filling your upper chest (feel your upper hand rise).
Exhale slowly in reverse: upper chest, mid-section, then lower belly.
Repeat for 5-10 breath cycles.
The physical sensation of your hands rising and falling helps reconnect with your body when feeling numb or disconnected.
Breathing Techniques for Specific Legal Situations
3-Minute Reset Breathing Sequence:
One minute of awareness: Simply notice your natural breath without changing it.
One minute of 4-2-6 breathing (described above).
One minute of setting an intention with your breath: Inhale a quality you need (clarity, strength, patience) and exhale what you don't need (tension, anxiety, doubt).
During Difficult Legal Discussions
Silent Breath Counting: When emotions run high or you feel triggered during discussions, silently count your breaths from 1 to 10, then start again. This provides a focal point for your mind while allowing you to stay present in the conversation.
When Reading Triggering Legal Documents
Hand-on-Heart Breathing:
Place one hand on your heart centre.
Place your other hand on your abdomen.
Breathe slowly and deeply, focusing on the warmth and pressure of your hands.
Remind yourself: "I am safe in this moment. I can handle this information."
Before Responding to Difficult Communications
STOP Breathing Technique:
Stop what you're doing.
Take a breath (use the 4-2-6 pattern).
Observe what you're feeling in your body and mind.
Proceed with intention.
Tips for Success with Breathing Exercises
Start small: Begin with just 2-3 minutes of practise, building up gradually.
Practise regularly: Brief daily practise makes these techniques more accessible during stressful moments.
Be gentle with yourself: If you find yourself holding your breath or breathing shallowly during stress, simply notice it without judgment and gently return to a regulated pattern.
Personalise: Adapt these exercises to suit your needs and preferences.
Pair with phrases: Combining breath with supportive phrases can enhance the effect (e.g., "Breathing in, I am calm; breathing out, I am steady").
Remember that breathing exercises are not about perfection—they're tools to help you navigate challenging moments with greater ease. Even a few conscious breaths can create a meaningful shift in your nervous system.
Audio Visualisations
Audio Visualisations
Understanding Trauma
Navigating your Legal Journey
Trauma and the Legal Process
Grounding and Orienting Tools
Grounding & Orienting Techniques for Legal Proceedings
The legal process can trigger our body's natural stress responses, making it difficult to think clearly, communicate effectively, or make sound decisions. These fundamental grounding techniques help reset your nervous system during challenging moments, bringing you back to the present when you feel overwhelmed.
These accessible techniques require no special training and can be used discreetly in almost any legal setting—from reviewing documents at home to sitting in a courtroom. They serve as essential "first aid" tools when you notice yourself becoming dysregulated.
Essential Grounding Techniques
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
This powerful sensory awareness exercise can help interrupt overwhelming thoughts or feelings and bring you back to the present moment.
How to practise:
Find five things you can see. Take a moment to look around you and name five things you can see in detail. For example: "I can see the blue stitching on my solicitor's folder. I can see the grain in the wooden table. I can see the pattern of clouds outside the window. I can see the silver watch on my wrist. I can see the painting of flowers on the wall."
Find four things you can touch or feel. Notice and name four things you can physically feel right now. For example: "I can feel the texture of my clothing against my skin. I can feel the coolness of the table beneath my hands. I can feel the weight of my feet pressing into the floor. I can feel the pressure of my back against the chair."
Find three things you can hear. Pay attention to three sounds in your environment. For example: "I can hear the gentle hum of the air conditioning. I can hear distant voices in the corridor. I can hear the sound of papers being shuffled."
Find two things you can smell. Identify two scents around you. If you can't immediately smell anything, you could recall a favourite smell or even carry a small item like a tiny bottle of essential oil. For example: "I can smell the coffee in my cup. I can smell the leather of my bag.
Find one thing you can taste. Notice one taste in your mouth, or take a small sip of water or tea. For example: "I can taste the mint from my chewing gum."
Take a deep breath after completing the exercise and notice how your body feels. Many people report feeling more centred and present.
Orienting Exercise
Orienting Exercise
This exercise helps remind your nervous system that you are safe in the present moment, not in past traumatic experiences.
How to practise:
1) Pause and take a slow, deep breath.
2) Look around the room slowly and deliberately, naming objects you can see:
"There is a clock on the wall."
"There are chairs around the table."
"There is a window with blinds."
3) Remind yourself of where you are in time and space:
"Today is [day of week], [date]."
"I am in [specific location]."
"I am here for [specific purpose]."
"I am safe in this moment."
4) Notice something pleasant or neutral in your surroundings:
"The light coming through the window is soft."
"The temperature in this room is comfortable."
Take another deep breath and notice if you feel more present.
You can practise this exercise anytime, but it's particularly helpful before entering the courtroom, during breaks in proceedings, or when reviewing difficult documents.
Physical Grounding Techniques
These simple physical actions can help anchor you in the present moment when you begin to feel overwhelmed.
Feet on Floor Technique
Sit in your chair with your back supported.
Place both feet flat on the floor, approximately hip-width apart.
Press your feet deliberately into the ground, noticing the sensation of pressure and support.
Focus your attention on where your feet meet the floor.
Say to yourself: "My feet are on the floor. I am here, in this room, in this moment."
Hand Connection Technique
Press your palms together firmly in front of your chest.
Notice the temperature, pressure, and sensation where your hands meet.
Slowly increase and decrease the pressure, paying attention to how the sensation changes.
If appropriate, you can also rub your palms together to create warmth.
Cold Object Technique
Consider carrying a small stone, metal object, or cold water bottle with you to legal appointments.
Hold the cold object in your hand.
Focus your attention on the sensation of coolness against your skin.
Notice how the object gradually warms in your hand.
If using a water bottle, you can also place it against the back of your neck or wrists for an immediate calming effect.
Measured Breathing Exercise
This breathing pattern helps activate your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) and can quickly reduce feelings of anxiety.
How to practise:
1) Find a comfortable seated position and place one hand on your chest and one on your abdomen if that feels comfortable.
2) Breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of 4, allowing your abdomen to expand like a balloon (rather than lifting your shoulders).
Count silently: "One, two, three, four"
3) Hold your breath gently for a count of 2.
Count silently: "One, two"
4) Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 6, allowing your abdomen to fall.
Count silently: "One, two, three, four, five, six"
5) Repeat this pattern for 5-10 cycles, or until you notice your body beginning to relax.
Remember that the extended exhale is the most essential part of this exercise, as it signals to your body that you are safe.
If counting feels distracting, you could use words instead, such as inhaling to "I am" and exhaling to "at peace" or any phrase that resonates with you.
When to Use These Techniques
Before legal appointments: Practise these exercises 10-15 minutes before meetings to help regulate your nervous system.
During meetings: If you notice trauma responses arising (racing heart, disconnection, anger, etc.), you can use the shorter techniques (like feet on the floor or measured breathing) discreetly.
During breaks: Use these as reset techniques during adjournments or breaks in proceedings.
After complicated interactions: These exercises can help you process and ground after challenging moments.
When reviewing documents: Before reading potentially triggering statements or proposals, take a moment to ground yourself.
Remember, with practise, these techniques become more effective and easier to access when needed. There is no "perfect" way to do these exercises—find the approaches that work best for you.
Next Steps
Once you're comfortable with these fundamental grounding techniques, you might explore our Advanced Embodiment Practices for additional tools to support your nervous system regulation during legal proceedings.
Stability Anchors Exercise
A Resource-Building Exercise for Family Law Clients
Instructions for Clients:
During the family law process, your nervous system can feel overwhelmed by uncertainty and stress. This exercise helps you identify specific people, places, activities, and moments that naturally help you feel more grounded and secure—your "stability anchors." By consciously connecting with these resources, you can navigate difficult legal situations with greater calm and clarity.
Your Stability Anchors Worksheet
Advanced Embodiment Practices
Advanced Embodiment Practices for Legal Proceedings
As you navigate the complexities of legal proceedings, developing a deeper connection with your body's signals can provide valuable resources for regulation and resilience. These advanced embodiment practices build upon the foundation of basic grounding techniques to offer more nuanced ways of working with your nervous system.
These practices help you develop a more sophisticated awareness of your physical experience, enabling you to respond thoughtfully rather than react automatically during challenging legal situations. While these techniques may require more practice to master, they can become powerful tools for maintaining your equilibrium throughout the legal process.
Body Scan Practice
This exercise helps you reconnect with your body when feeling disconnected or overwhelmed by bringing gentle, curious attention to different areas of physical sensation.
How to practise:
1) Find a comfortable seated position where you feel supported.
2) Begin by bringing awareness to your feet. Notice any sensations—pressure, temperature, tingling, or perhaps no noticeable sensation at all.
3) Slowly move your attention up through your body, pausing briefly at each area:
Ankles and calves
Knees and thighs
Hips and pelvis
Abdomen and lower back
Chest and upper back
Shoulders and arms
Hands and fingers
Neck and throat
Face and head
4) For each area, simply notice whatever sensations are present without trying to change them.
5) If you notice areas of tension, acknowledge them with curiosity rather than judgment.
6) Finish by bringing awareness to your body as a whole, noting how you feel compared to when you started.
This exercise can be done in as little as 3-5 minutes before important legal meetings or when you notice yourself becoming disconnected from physical sensations.
Boundary Setting Through Posture
How we hold our bodies can influence our sense of personal boundaries. This exercise helps you embody appropriate boundaries during challenging legal interactions.
How to practise:
Sit or stand with your spine comfortably aligned.
Feel the points of contact between your body and the chair or floor, noticing the physical support.
Bring your attention to your personal space—imagine it as a bubble extending about an arm's length around you in all directions.
Take a breath and imagine this bubble becoming clear and defined, not rigid but resilient.
Notice how this awareness might influence your posture—perhaps your shoulders settle into a more natural position or your spine feels more aligned.
In difficult conversations, return to this embodied boundary awareness, especially when discussing sensitive matters or feeling pressured.
This practice helps maintain a sense of personal integrity during challenging interactions without creating unnecessary tension or defensiveness.
Hand Warming Exercises
This simple technique helps activate your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest response) through intention and attention. It's particularly useful before reviewing potentially triggering legal documents.
How to practise:
Rub your palms together briskly for about 10-15 seconds, creating friction and warmth.
Place your warm palms over your closed eyes, without pressing (leaving space for your eyelashes).
Feel the warmth transferring from your hands to the area around your eyes.
Take 5-10 slow breaths, focusing on the sensation of warmth and the darkness behind your closed eyes.
Notice how this brief pause affects your overall tension level.
When ready, slowly remove your hands and open your eyes, taking a moment to adjust before proceeding with your task.
This exercise combines gentle physical stimulation with focused attention, helping interrupt stress patterns before they escalate.
Movement Reset
Brief, intentional movement can help discharge stress hormones and reset your nervous system when feeling tense or stuck. This discreet exercise can be done in most legal settings.
How to practise:
While seated, firmly press your feet into the floor.
Engage your leg muscles by pushing down through your feet (without actually standing up).
At the same time, press your palms against each other in front of your chest or press your palms down against your thighs.
Hold this gentle isometric pressure for 5-10 seconds while continuing to breathe.
Release the pressure and notice the sensations that follow.
Repeat 2-3 times if helpful.
This subtle exercise helps engage and release tension without drawing attention in formal settings like courtrooms or mediation sessions.
Paced Breathing with Hand Movement
This technique combines breath with gentle hand movements to create an embodied rhythm that helps regulate your nervous system.
How to practise:
Extend both hands in front of you, palms facing each other about 20 centimetres apart.
As you breathe in, slowly move your hands apart.
As you breathe out, slowly bring your hands toward each other (without touching).
Continue this synchronised movement with your breath for 8-10 cycles.
Focus on the coordination between your breath and the movement of your hands.
Notice how this rhythmic, intentional movement affects your state.
The visible, tangible nature of this exercise helps anchor your attention when anxiety makes it difficult to focus on breath alone.
Embodied Resource Activation
This practice helps you access inner resources through combining memory, imagination, and physical sensation.
How to practise:
Identify a personal resource—a person, place, activity, or quality that helps you feel stronger or more capable.
Take a moment to bring this resource vividly to mind, recalling or imagining specific details.
Notice any positive physical sensations that arise as you connect with this resource (perhaps warmth in your chest, relaxation in your shoulders, or a sense of groundedness).
Place your hand on the area of your body where you feel this positive sensation most strongly.
Take 3-5 breaths while maintaining connection with both the resource in your mind and the sensation in your body.
Create a simple gesture or touch (like a hand on heart) that you can use to quickly reconnect with this resource during challenging moments.
This practice creates a bridge between cognitive resources and physical experience, making supportive states more accessible during stress.
Developing Your Embodiment Practice
These advanced techniques become more effective with regular practice. Consider the following approaches to deepen your embodiment skills:
Daily practice: Set aside 5-10 minutes each day to practice one of these techniques, especially during the active phases of your legal proceedings.
Situation-specific application: Identify which techniques seem most helpful in particular situations (e.g., before meetings, during difficult conversations, when reviewing documents).
Paired practice: Consider practicing these techniques with a trusted friend, therapist, or divorce consultant who can provide feedback and support.
Progressive exploration: Begin with techniques that feel most accessible, gradually exploring those that might initially feel challenging.
Personal adaptations: Modify these techniques to suit your preferences and needs—what matters is finding approaches that help you maintain regulation and presence.
Personal adaptations: Modify these techniques to suit your preferences and needs—what matters is finding approaches that help you maintain regulation and presence.
Integrating Embodiment with Legal Preparation
The most effective approach combines these embodiment practices with thorough legal preparation:
Before important meetings, take a few minutes to ground yourself using these techniques
When preparing documents or reviewing legal materials, pause periodically to check in with your body
Prior to making significant decisions, ensure you're in a regulated state where you can access your clearest thinking
After difficult legal interactions, use these practices to help process the experience and reset your nervous system
Remember that embodiment isn't about controlling or eliminating emotions—it's about creating a stable foundation from which you can navigate complex feelings and make clearer decisions throughout your legal journey.
If you're new to embodiment practices, we recommend starting with our Grounding & Orienting Techniques before exploring these more advanced approaches.